


Awake

by bessmertny



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Human Nesta having an affair with Cassian, basically if cassian was awake in hybern
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 16:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9449528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessmertny/pseuds/bessmertny
Summary: Based on the "Have you seen the-oh" prompt on tumblr. My hand slipped.





	

Cassian was used to entering Nesta’s room as quietly as he could, in the most inconvenient hours of the night, squeezing himself in the little window, his wings tucked against his back so tightly they trembled.

And in his last visit, he left one of his knives somewhere in her room, and noticed only when he already was in Velaris.

At the beginning, he thought of leaving it there, so that she would find it and think of him, but he thought that if that damned noisy maid was the one to find the knife- a big, Fae knife- his Nesta would be in way too much trouble.

_His Nesta_

When he was about to go on a mission and found out the absence of his blade, it only made him made think of the way he lost it, of how she removed his fighting leathers, her movements getting bolder and bolder with each encounter they had, of the way her hands felt on his skin, of her fingers in his hair; of her voice, her moans, of  _her_ \- and he nearly walked into a wall.

Cassian couldn’t help but think that it was inevitable, the two of them getting closer and closer because she- she _pulled_ at him, in ways he couldn’t comprehend, making him feel things he never felt, like he was the only male on the face of the earth, both the happiest bastard and the most miserable prick and so stupidly in love with her it was maddening.

He heard some footsteps and the air was filled with that scent that was so distinctively _Nesta_ that he paused, breathing it in as much as he could.

He moved toward the sound of her steps and called “Sweetheart,  ** _have you seen my- Oh_** ” Nesta was only in a corset and some undergarments, and that thing was pushing up her lovable breasts, making all coherent thought fly out of his head.

“Have I seen _what_ , your knife? It’s in the drawer near you. ” she answered, her voice firm and low, but a blush was spreading from her beautiful face to her neck, “You forgot it here the other day. I guess it’s only normal for someone so old.” she continued and he grinned at her words, at the way she knew exactly what to say to get a rise out of him.

But she looked at him, smiling, and he saw the softness in her blue eyes, something that was so at odds with the coldness of just some time ago.

After their tense encounter, and after she kicked him in the balls with that lovely trick of hers, he came back, but only to leave a gift for her on her window, hoping to remain unnoticed by her and Elain and everyone else, but just when he was about to live, he heard her say “So is this a thing of yours, creeping through windows like a thief?” she was obviously talking of how he had to get out of her house the last time, and of course, they started arguing again, unable to stop themselves, and after that he came back again and again, saw her strength, saw the love in her raging heart and promised to protect her and everything she loved and gradually, the arguing was less as they talked more until one day, with trembling hands he cradled her beautiful face and kissed her, kissed her with a reverence and love he never felt and that was the most beautiful and frightening thing he has ever done in his entire life.

But she kissed him back.

She pressed her body against his, making the breath stop in his throat, making him smile in the kiss, and she was kissing him with such passion and fervor that the fact that he wanted to kiss her  _so_  much, wanted to kiss her for all eternity was the only reason he wasn’t on his knees before her.

He now looked at her, at the pale shade of violet of her corset and moved to her so quickly she blinked, the only giveaway of her surprise.

_“Old?”_ he repeated, his tone a clear challenge but she only smiled and took a step back, pointing her index finger at him “Don’t you dare tickle me, Cassian.” since the day he discovered that Nesta Archeron was ticklish, it quickly became one of Cassian’s favorite things to do.

Amongst other things.

And he completely forgot of the blade as he got closer to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, rounded like his, but a constant reminder of her humanity, of how fragile she was, of how-

“You’re looking quite good, love.” he said, moving his arms around her and she leaned into him, with an ease and trust that were so precious to him.

“Do I?” she asked, teasing him as always and he heard the sound of her feet moving as she raised herself on her tiptoes to kiss him, her fingers closed tight on his fighting gear.

Her hand went between his hair, pulling it out of the string that kept it together, her fingers sliding down to his jaw and they stilled, smiling; and Cassian knew he was where he was supposed to be because going to her at the end of every day, no matter how hard he fought and worked and how little he slept, it always felt like coming home. 

“How was your day?” she asked as he walked them to the bed, her feet on his- no one asked when Nesta demanded a new, larger bed, no one would have thought it was because she had an Illyrian male in her bed every night. He was beyond happy when he saw it, even if she tried to dismiss it as nothing “ _It’s just a bed_ ”, but for him it was so much more and he passed the night trying to make her understand what it meant to him, only to crawl out of her room with the first rays of the sun.

“We are trying to understand how to get into Hybern’s castle, but the place of that prick is full of guards.” he answered, removing pin after pin from her hair just as she unbuckled the upper part of his fighting leathers. He moved his hands to her corset, his eyes never leaving her as he pulled the string and she stretched and let out a long sigh, finally free. He knew how she hated it, hated being dressed like a doll, hated the parties-  _Come with me_ , he wanted to say, to shout,  _come with me to the Night Court and no more dresses you hate, no more parties with people you loathe, meet my family, you’ll never have to see that prick of your father again if you don’t want to, come with me, come with me, come with me_

She kissed his shoulder tenderly and he knew what it meant, knew it word for word: “ _I wish I could help_ ”, he could hear it in his head in her voice as if she said it and he knew how angry it made her, not being able to help like she wanted, but his heart bloody stopped when he thought of her around the kind of Faes he saw doing unspeakable thing to humans in the last war and he- he had to close his eyes, trying to not think about it.

He did his best to make sure her house was guarded at every hour, choose the best males he could, friends of his, soldiers and brothers in arms who grew up with him, faced the same horrors, won the same battles.

“And you, love? Today was the day of the great thing with Elain’s betrothed, right?” he asked, and received a grunt in response.

It seemed that Elain had found the great love her life with her Fae hating prick, and he wondered if the Mother would be so kind as to change the cards for once, because he didn’t like at all that sort of prison that was his house and more so,  _Nesta_  didn’t like it, even if she said nothing about it for the sake of Elain’s happiness.

Cassian kissed her shoulder, her throat and he heard the frantic beating of her heart, the rush of her blood just underneath her skin.

So _fragile_ yet so _strong_ , his Nesta.

She moved until she was astride him and he could barely breathe as she pulled the rest of her undergarment over her head; he could feel the heat of her, could see the goose bumps over her pale white skin and her scent, her scent was killing him, so sweet and perfect, it ruined him, made the most primal part of him chant _mine, mine, mine_.

His hands flown to hold her hips and she looked at him, those beautiful, breath taking eyes of hers burning into his as she ground down on him, making his head roll back.

“ _Shit_ ”, he said, moving to kiss her, trying to get out of his pants, to get _closer, closer, closer_ to her, until they were one, until nothing and no one could tear them apart.

“Raise yourself up a bit, sweetheart.” he whispered and Nesta moved, her hands firmly on his shoulders as he moved one hand up her inner thigh, the tiniest moan escaping her lips and he could feel her fingernails digging in his skin. He lightly stroked her and he bit back a moan at how wet she was, and she moved closer to him, kissing him, moaning in his mouth as his fingers moved faster and deeper and his cock was so hard he could barely think straight, but he wanted this, wanted to pleasure her, wanted to make her moan, wanted to see her back arch in bliss, wanted to love her.

He moved his finger slowly until it was inside of her and Nesta started to move her hips with the movements of his fingers, panting, moaning, her hands moving to his shoulders to his hair and back again; he kissed her breasts, making her arch into him.

_Not too hard_ , he reminded himself, _not too much_ ; he rested his head on her shoulder before he looked up at her, at her face and even the thought, the possibility of him hurting her in some ways made him tremble, made him feel sick.

“ _Cassian_ ”, she said, called his name and kissed him so softly, sweetly, like she knew exactly what he was thinking and wanted to reassure him. 

He kissed her back, kissed her as his fingers moved faster and faster and she gripped his hair as her body tensed and she came all over his fingers, the smell of her filling the room and her taste flooding in his mouth as he licked his fingers one by one.

But Nesta’s hips were still moving, right above his cock, her thighs shaking and he thought it was a miracle when he didn’t come right there as she whispered “ _More_ ”.

He kissed her wildly then, his hands on her hips once again as she lowered herself on him, and having her on him, like this, riding him, it was so painfully perfect, better than every time he dreamed it.

She moved slowly, tentatively, her forehead on his and he knew she never did this and he knew- he knew he shouldn’t care but being her first, being the male she choose to love- it was everything to him, to be loved by Nesta, to be the one she looked upon with love and lust and her stunning rage.

He moved his hands, guiding her hips in the movements and she moaned, calling his name, moving faster and he thrust up into her and the sound she made was so obscenely beautiful that he moved up again, and again, and again until she was moaning uncontrollably, the sound of their bodies echoing in the room “Mother, Nesta, _Nesta, I love you_ , you’re-you’re perfect and I- I fucking love you.” her eyes locked with his and widened as she came again, his name on her lips and he followed her, his hands on the side of her face chanting _I love you_ and _you’re mine_ as quietly as he could, unable to stop himself.

Seconds passed before they moved to lie under the sheets, Nesta tucked safely between his arms, her head on his chest and his wings around them.

She moved to kiss him one last time “I love you too, you know.” and it sounded like a question, like she wanted to make sure he knew and the way she looked at him, the unflinching love and strength in her eyes-

She stroked her thumb above his lower lip and then settled on his chest again, and for very part of him she touched, she left a trail of fire.

“Of course I know it, sweetheart.” he answered jokingly and she moved her freezing feet to rest above his ankles as punishment, while muttering “ _idiot_ ” but he could hear the smile in her voice as he entwined their legs and pulled her closer, trying to give her his warmth.

Nesta was the first to fall asleep and Cassian couldn’t stop himself from looking at her, at the rise and fall of her chest, at how her eyelids fluttered every now and then at the light scowl between her eyebrows, like she was scolding someone even in her dreams.

He kissed her temple, his eyes screwed shut almost painfully and he could see the stars behind his eyelids.

_Please, please, please_ , he begged, prayed _let her stay with me, let her never grow old, never die. Please Mother, Cauldron, please, I beg of you, let her stay with me._ Cassian ignored the burning in his eyes, the wetness on his cheeks or how his throat closed _please, I’ve never asked for much- but this. Please_.

_Please_.

Cassial lost the count of how many guards he killed.

But he turned to Feyre as she pointed her finger in front of them and said “There. It’s down there.”

He took the stairs, his body barking in pain at every step he took, the wound he got while defending Velaris far from being healed and all he could think of was how Nesta would scold him, once again, for being such a reckless idiot.

And he wanted nothing more than see her, even if it was her screaming at him, everything to see her face and the endearing shade of red upon her chicks when she got mad, to see her scowl before she got closer and pretended to see the wound or tell him to go to bed and scold him for every move he made, and he would laugh and play with her hair.

He smiled, but it quickly fell off his face as he saw it: the Cauldron.

He whistled, giving the sign to the others to move, that the path was clear.

Cassian couldn’t take his eyes off it: it screamed wrong and right at the same time, the type of power meant to create and destroy, the type of power no one should ever have hands on.

“Hurry”, Mor said “we’ve got a few minutes.”

He saw as Feyre moved, but Az moved an arm in front of her.

“Listen”, he said, but Cassian didn’t want to listen, he wanted to get out of this awful place as soon as he damned could.

Feyre had one hand on the Book of Breathings, the other on the Cauldron and Cassian couldn’t even imagine what that power might feel like, what words it was speaking to Feyre.

“Feyre” Mor called, incredibly at unease.

“Feyre”, she called again and she moved as if to snatch Feyre away as the High Lady placed one half of the book on top of the other and Cassian moved to stop her.

Mor looked at him and hissed “We can’t risk-”

“Give her a minute.” he said, interrupting her, fear pooling in his gut.

But Feyre didn’t move, and as he heard footsteps coming toward them Cassian knew that everything had gone to shit.

Azriel snatched Feyre back and away from the Cauldron and Cassian couldn’t believe his eyes as Jurian entered the room.

“You stupid fool.”,  he said to Feyre and her voice was full of disbelief when she called his name.

“ _You_.” Cassian said; he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Worked your way up the ranks, did you? Congratulations.” Jurian said and he should have been _dead,_ dead and rotten and forgotten, and not in front of them.

Rhys appeared beside Feyre, taking the Book of Breathings away and Cassian saw the look of devastation on Feyre’s face, like she was only now, away from the influence of the book, understanding what was happening.

“You look good, Jurian,” his brother said,“For a corpse.”

“Last time I saw you,” Jurian sneered, “you were warming Amarantha’s sheets.” Cassian couldn’t help but flinch, his temper rising.

“So you remember,” Rhys said,“Interesting.”

But Jurian shifted his gaze to Mor “Where is Miryam?”

“She’s dead,” She answered, the lie old and bold “She and Drakon drowned in the Erythrian Sea.”

“Liar,” Jurian answered, unable to stop being an obsessed prick, “You were always such a liar, Morrigan.”

Azriel growled in response, but Jurian didn’t care and pressed on, “ _Where did you take Miryam_?”

“Away from you,” Mor breathed. “I took her to Prince Drakon. They were mated and married that night you slaughtered Clythia. And she never thought of you again.”

They were fucked; he gripped his sword and he felt Mor getting closer but all he could think of was that they had to get out of here, they all had to, and he thought of blue eyes and golden brown hair, of cold and tiny feet on his, he had to get out of there, to get them all out there so she would meet his family, and all would go- all would go well.

But he noticed- no magic was working in that damned place.

“New trick?” Rhys said, but Jurian just shrugged

“I was sent to distract you—while he worked his spell. You won’t leave this castle unless he allows you to. Or in pieces.” the sick smile upon that bastard’s mouth made Cassian want to punch him until there was no trace of it left above his face.

Both him and Az crouched into a fighting stance, so attuned to every movement of the other after centuries of fighting together.

Cassian felt Rhys’ power, and he felt how it came to a stop, “Then there’s that,” Jurian said. “Didn’t you remember? Perhaps you forgot. It was a good thing I was there, awake for every moment, Rhysand. She stole  _his_  book of spells—to take your powers. He made sure,” Jurian went on, talking and talking and Cassian wasn’t sure what was worst: the possibility of death or hearing this out his mind prick keep on prattling “that particular book was returned to him. She didn’t know how to use half of the nastier spells. Do you know what it is like to be unable to sleep, to drink or eat or breathe or  _feel_  for five hundred years? Do you understand what it is like to be constantly awake, forced to watch everything she did?”

“It couldn’t have been so bad,”Rhys answered, and he felt his brother’s power trying to unleash itself again and again “if you’re now working for her master.”

Jurian smiled again and Cassian imagined the sound his teeth would make once they met the floor “Your suffering will be long, and thorough.”

“Sounds delightful,” Rhys said, now turning them from the room.

Cassian knew what that meant.

But someone was- no, not someone came into his vision.

The King of Hybern.

“The trap was so easy, I’m honestly a bit disappointed you didn’t see it coming.”

And Cassian, he didn’t see it, didn’t react fast enough and Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt right through Az’s chest.

He heard Mor screaming, but it was a distant sound as his brother fell on the ground.

Cassian went to him as Rhysand did, both trying to put Az back on his feet, all of it to follow the King, that bastard, that sick fucking bastard.

_a trap, a trap, a trap_

Every drop of Az’s blood on the ground was too much and he only vaguely saw the other Fae around them, all the little minions under Hybern’s rule as they walked through the corridor.

Cassian heard the King’s voice once again as he said, “Now that I’ve upheld my end of the bargain, I expect you to uphold yours.”

The hand that wasn’t keeping Az clenched into a fist as Tamlin and Lucien stepped into the light and he snarled, he couldn’t believe it, _not now_.

He thought there was no way this mission could go in more shit than it already was.

“No” said Feyre. “No”

“What was the cost,” Rhys said, his voice low and Cassian knew what it meant for them, to both of them, to see the male who treated like Feyre an object, treated her so badly, like she was just a prize.

But Tamlin, that stupid, stupid fucking prick looked at the King “You have my word.”

The king smiled.

“ _What have you done_?” Feyre asked Tamlin but it was the King who answered  “We made a bargain. I give you over, and he agrees to let my forces enter Prythian through his territory. And then use it as a base as we remove that ridiculous wall.”

“You’re insane,” Cassian hissed. The wall- they couldn’t be serious, they couldn’t remove it, not when _she_ was on the other side of it.

“Feyre”, Tamlin called, but she didn’t move.

“You are a very difficult female to get ahold of. Of course, we’ve also agreed that you’ll work for me once you’ve been returned home to your husband, but … Is it husband-to-be, or husband? I can’t remember.” the King said to Feyre.

“Tamlin,” Lucien murmured, but Tamlin didn’t move his eyes from Feyre “I’m taking you home.” and at that, Feyre took a step back.

“There’s that other bit, too. The other thing I wanted,” the King continued “Well, Jurian wanted. Two birds with one stone, really. The High Lord of Night dead—and to learn who his friends were. It drove Jurian quite mad, honestly, that you never revealed it during those fifty years. So now you know, Jurian. And now you can do what you please with them.”

Cassian tensed, and so did both Az and Rhys.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Feyre said boldly, but the King just said “You’ll say differently, my dear, when I complete the final part of my bargain.”

He looked at Feyre’s left arm. “Break that bond between you two.”

“Please,” she whispered and even Cassian, after centuries of blood and war couldn’t think of something as cruel as this.

“How else is Tamlin to have his bride? He can’t very well have a wife who runs off to another male once a month.”

“Don’t. Don’t let him. I told you—I _told you_  that I was fine. That I left—” Feyre said to Tamlin and Cassian never encountered a stupid, selfish, _blind_ prick like that Spring idiot.

“You weren’t well,” Tamlin snarled. “He  _used_  that bond to manipulate you. Why do you think I was gone so often? I was looking for a way to get you _free_. And you  _left_.”

“I left because I was going to  _die_  in that house!”

“Not what you expected, is it?” the King said, like all of it, all this suffering was just a form of entertainment to him.

“Come home with me. Now.” Tamlin said again, his hand stretched toward Feyre.

“No.”

“Feyre.” He commanded. How _dare_ he command the High Lady of the Night Court, _his_ High Lady, his friend?

Cassian looked around him, trying to find a way out or a way to fight his way through, but there were none and he looked at his wrist, at the new leather string tied on it, the bright red color of it, Nesta’s smell entwined into the fabric.

She gave it to him some days ago; she placed into one of the pockets of his leathers and he found it midflight, and the need to go back to her was so overwhelming it tore him apart; he never used it, too scared of ruining it but it was now a reminder of what he could lose if he didn’t fight.

Cassian tightened his grasp on Azriel, keeping his brother upright as his blood pooled on the floor; he needed to think, needed to make out a strategy, it was his work, it what was he was supposed to do, the only thing he had.

“I’ll come with you,” Feyre said “if you leave them alone. Let them go.” and Cassian was in awe of her strength and of the fact that she seriously thought there was a chance in hell they would let her go with Tamlin.

“They’re monsters. They’re—” he tried to grab Feyre, but she vanished and in a glorious moment, Tamlin’s face connected with Rhys’ fist.

Rhysand move to Feyre and Mor took his place at Azriel’s side and they both lowered him on the ground, Mor staying crouched beside him.

But suddenly, Feyre and Rhys’ mingled scent filled the room like a wave and the King laughed “I don’t believe it.” he said to Tamlin “Your bride left you only to find her mate. The Mother has a warped sense of humor, it seems. And what a talent—tell me, girl: how did you unravel that spell?”

“I’m sorry,”  Feyre said to Tamlin, and Cassian really didn’t think he even deserved the tiniest apology and as Tamlin looked at Rhys and snarled “ _You_. _What did you do to her?_ ” he had the confirmation of it.

The door opened behind them and Cassian knew what was to come as a vast groups of soldiers filled the room and he tried to think of a strategy again, anything to get them out of that room.

_Windows?_

_Door?_

_Stairs?_

_Escape, escape, escape_

“I’m not going with you,” Feyre spat at Tamlin “and even if I did … You spineless,  _stupid_  fool for selling us out to  _him_! Do you know what he wants to do with that Cauldron?”

“Oh, I’m going to do many, many things with it,” the King said, “starting now.”

Feyre tried to unleash her power, but it was only a fraction of it, just a moment, a spark.

“Ah,” the King’s gaze fixed upon Feyre “that. Look at you. A child of all seven courts—like and unlike all. How the Cauldron purrs in your presence. Did you plan to use it? Destroy it? With that book, you could do anything you wished.”

She didn’t answer, but the King didn’t seem to care “You’ll tell me soon enough.”

“I made no bargain with you.”

“No, but your master did, so you will obey.”

Feyre looked at Tamlin, pure rage coating her features “If you bring me from here, if you take me from my mate, I will  _destroy_  you. I will destroy your court, and everything you hold dear.”

And the only answer Tamlin gave her was “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_You prick_.

“No—she doesn’t.” the King answered “There will be no destroying,”  and Cassian wanted to object but then-

then he saw the Queens, and their guards and wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.

“Because, you will find, Feyre Archeron, that it is in your best interest to behave.”

The Queens moved and-

_no, no, no_

Cassian knows that scent, it was entwined in the muscles of his own heart- 

_no, no, no_

But then he saw her, gagged and bound and scared.

Cassian couldn’t breathe, his heart beating furiously against his ribcage, his throat closing; he couldn’t believe it, it wasn’t happening, not to her, it was just- just a cruel dream, a twisted fantasy.

Nesta was in her nightgown, the lacy one he liked so much, and it was torn and he knew she fought, he knew it and she shouldn’t be here- _he promised, he promised, he promised._

The King was speaking, that he knew, but he couldn’t make sense of a single word.

_get her out of here, get her out, out, out_

was the only thought in his mind.

But then he heard one of the Queens speak “Then show us—prove this gift you mentioned.”

Rhys looked at her and said “You’re a fool.”

The king cut in, “Is she? Why submit to old age and ailments when what I offer is so much better? Eternal youth. Do you deny the benefits? A mortal queen becomes one who might reign forever. Of course, there are risks—the transition can be … difficult. But a strong-willed individual could survive. And speaking of which, I don’t think your friend is feeling very well.” the King said, and Cassian knew he was talking of him.

“Show us. Demonstrate it can be done, that it is safe.”

“ _Don’t even think of it-_.” he growled at the Queens, at all of them.

The king nodded, his smile a thing of devious enjoyment. “Why did you think I asked my dear friend Ianthe to see who Feyre Archeron would appreciate having with her for eternity?”  Cassian’s eyes went wide “Oh, I asked them first. They deemed it too … uncouth to betray two young, misguided women. Ianthe had no such qualms. Consider it my wedding present for you both,” he added to Tamlin.

Tamlin only said. “What?”

The king cocked his head, every word told with a smile upon his lips. “I think the High Priestess was waiting until your return to tell you, but didn’t you ever ask  _why_  she believed I might be able to break the bargain? Why she had so many musings on the idea? So many millennia have the High Priestesses been forced to their knees for the High Lords. And during those years she dwelled in that foreign court … such an open mind, she has. Once we met, once I painted for her a portrait of a Prythian free of High Lords, where the High Priestesses might rule with grace and wisdom … She didn’t take much convincing.”

Lucien’s voice echoed in the room “She sold out—she sold out  Feyre’s family. To you.”

Every word was booming in Cassian’s head as he looked at Nesta, “Sold out?” The king snorted. “Or saved from the shackles of mortal death? Ianthe suggested they were both strong-willed women, like their sister. No doubt they’ll survive. And prove to our queens it  _can_  be done. If one has the strength.”

“ _I’ll kill you,_ ” Cassian said, panting, like his lungs were about to crush, both to the King and Tamlin “ _both of you. I’ll kill you.”_

But the King went on “I would suggest bracing yourselves.”

Then room exploded.

Cassian threw himself on the ground with Azriel and Mor, both him and her trying to shield Az as best as they could.

Cassian moved up as long as the wave passed, his eyes locking with Nesta, making sure she was alright, that she was still breathing and unscratched.

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said.

Feyre moved and Cassian shouted “No, don’t-”, but the King just said “Please refrain from getting any stupid ideas.” A smile curled across his face “If any of you interfere, the shadowsinger dies.”  Cassian’s blood boiled. His brother on one side, the woman he loved on the other. “Ladies, eternity awaits. Prove to their Majesties the Cauldron is safe for … strong-willed individuals.”

Cassian could hear Elain sobs as she brought to the Cauldron.

He moved forward, he tried, gut his hands were coated in his brother’s blood and as he tried to move, a string of magic went around his wrists, stopping him, leashing him and his heart went right up his throat when Nesta begun to trash, to move to set herself free, to save her sister.

_I will stand on that battlefield again, Nesta Archeron_

Elain was crying, sobbing a the guards brought her forward and Nesta screamed behind the gag .

_To protect this house-your people_

“Let her go!” he screamed at the guards, the King, to everyone who could listen.

_I can think of no better way to end my existence than to defend those who need it most._

The King looked at him and then to Feyre as she said “Please,” but the King just looked at the guards, not even bothering to turn to her “Please, I will do anything, I will give you anything. Please—you do not need proof, I am proof that it works. Jurian is proof it is safe.”

“You are a thief, and a liar.” one of the Queens said “You conspired with our sister. Your punishment should be the same as hers. Consider this a gift instead.”

Elain screamed as her foot met the water and Cassian roared “Let her go, you know it can be done, just let her go!”

Nesta was still screaming and Cassian tried to fight, even as tendrils of magic kept him in place, trying to save Elain, to keep his promise, trying to save the sister Nesta loved so much and he looked at Azriel, at the weak rise and falling of his chest

_Think_ , he told himself, even as his heart was cleaved in two, _get them out of here_.

But it took a second, and Elain was shoved down.

Nesta’s screaming filled the room along with the sound of the water splashing and Cassian tried to free himself but the more he tried, the more that damned magic leashed him but he heard it, his mind attuned to the sound of Azriel’s breathing.

The King of Hybern bowed slightly to the Queens. “Behold.”

And as if it had been tipped by invisible hands, the Cauldron turned on its side.

Black water fell on the ground and Elain followed it, and Cassian could only stare between her and Nesta, at the wild look on her face but then-

Elain sucked in a breath- _alive, alive, she was alive_ and-

Fae.

The Queens gasped,“So we can survive,” one of them said.

“The hellcat now, if you’ll be so kind,” the King of Hybern said.

Nesta went silent, and the whole world stopped turning.

“ _No_ ” he said, looking at the King “ _don’t you dare_.”

He saw as Elian shivered on the floor, and Lucien- Lucien tried to walk to her, but stopped when Cassian roared “Get away from her!” he knew, he knew that Nesta wouldn’t want a Fae near  Elain, she wouldn’t, _she wouldn’t_ -

The guards hauled Nesta toward the Cauldron.

“No!” he screamed.

Cassian tried to move, to get to Nesta and the more he tried the more the magic stopped him but he kept going, tried again and again, until his wrists were bleeding, the blood hiding the red of Nesta’s string, and he saw her fighting against the guards, against _fate_ and tried and tried to get closer, to stop it and he screamed, to the Queens, to the King, at Jurian “You wanted to know who we were, didn’t you?” he said, his voice breaking, a gasping sound, “I’m here, do whatever the hell you want with me but let her go. Please, I won’t fight, I won’t move, but let her go.” he pleaded, _pleaded_ but the King just clicked his tongue, “Perhaps another time.”

When Nesta’s feet moved above the water, Cassian fell to his knees.

This was beyond pain, beyond torture as they shoved Nesta in that damned Cauldron up to her shoulders she bucked again, _screamed_ and the King looked at him as he said “ _Put her under_.”

“ _I will kill you_ ,” Cassian said again, his voice just above a whisper.

And in the same moment Nesta freed her arm, pointing a finger to the King.

The King looked at both of them, the muscle in his jaw quivering.

As Nesta went under the water all Cassian could hear was the frantic beating of her heart, how she tried to move, to get out, to fight.

“No,” he said, “ _no_.” he hid his face behind his hands, his eyes fixed on the Cauldron and he began to shake his head, to tremble all over “ _Come back to me_.” he said, calling her, and he thought of all the time he pulled her to him into her bed and his chest began heaving, his lungs closing painfully and he felt it, the water filling his lungs like they were hers, the burning in his throat, the rasp of the liquid in his body.

_he was drowning, too_

“Please come back to me, _please_.” but he heard it as he heart stopped beating and it broke him, his body giving up under him completely as he sobbed.

The water leaked on the floor and the moment the magic of the King lessened, Cassian tried to rise on his feet, fell and tried again.

_His Nesta_ was on the floor and he ran to her, and his hand was shaking so much he had to try three times to get her hair behind her ear and he cradled her and- and her body moved too easily and it was too cold, too motionless and he felt like dying-

But then- she breathed, a beautiful, miraculous intake of air.

It was like a benediction, the most beautiful sound he ever heard, settling in his heart and the moment their eyes locked –

He removed the gag from her mouth and pulled himself up, quickly moving her where Elain was.

She moved to her sister, moving her fingers on Elain like she couldn’t quite believe she was real, but her other hand remained fisted in his fighting leathers.

“ _Elain, Elain, Elain_ ,” she sobbed, even as Elain’s eyes were looking at something else.

Nesta turned to him and her face- it was even more beautiful now, the glowing of her skin, her pointed ears.

_alive, alive, alive,_ his heart chanted.

He took her in his arms again, breathed her in, rocked her back and forth and held her _so_ tightly, like he longed to do for so long.

“My Nesta,” he said “you’re alright, you’re here, you’re alright.” 

He kissed her, between tears and water.

“My Nesta” he said upon her lips _“my mate, my mate, my mate.”_


End file.
